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By Ebru, founder of Voiczy
Published on: · Updated on:
Quick answer: Give each language a clear place in your child's day, and keep it there for years. The simplest way is one parent, one language: each parent speaks their own language to the child, every time. Expect your child to mix languages and to understand more than they say; both are normal stages. Protect the home language, because school will take care of the local one, and keep grandparents and other speakers in your child's life.
In today's interconnected world, speaking more than one language is more valuable than ever. As parents raising a multilingual child ourselves, we want to share what worked for us, what didn't, and what we learned from the experts along the way.
My partner and I come from different cultural backgrounds and speak different languages. When we had our first child, we set a rule: I would speak my native language, and my partner would speak theirs. This approach is known as the One Parent, One Language (OPOL) method. It's a well-known strategy that helps children learn two languages naturally from birth. By the time he was two, our son was speaking both languages at the level you'd expect for his age.
We also had another challenge: we live as expats in the Netherlands, so Dutch would be our child's third language, learned at preschool. We worried about mixing and about slower-than-expected progress in Dutch. After talking it through with his preschool teachers, they recommended speech therapy (in Dutch, logopedie) to support his Dutch, and they gave us valuable advice.
Following their guidance, we began speech therapy and applied the tips we received. At first we saw a speech therapist every three weeks, but progress was slow at that frequency. After a few months we switched to a therapist we could see weekly, and the improvements became faster and easier to see.
Our first therapist suggested we speak only one language at home, but we felt this wouldn't suit our family. The second therapist, who had more experience with bilingual children, encouraged us to continue with OPOL and assured us that our approach was right for our child. That matches what most current research and bilingual-family specialists say: you don't need to drop a home language for a child to learn the school language.
To keep our son connected to both our cultures and to different accents, we have daily video calls with our families: brothers, sisters and parents. During these calls we let him hold full conversations without interrupting. We hold the phone and encourage him to start the conversation, so it feels as though he is the one calling his grandparents. It's good for his confidence and for the bond with his grandparents, and it's good for them too. Grandparents play a significant role in children's well-being, so this connection is worth protecting.
If you live far from your parents, regular video calls let your child speak their home language freely with people who love hearing it.
Another thing that helps with shyness is voice messages. We start the recorder and encourage our son to tell a story or sing a song for his grandparents, then send it. When a voice reply comes back, he feels heard and valued, which builds his self-esteem.
Most of our methods are digital because we live far from our families. If you live closer, regular visits and grandparents who play their part are even better.
Bilingualism shapes more than communication: it changes who your child can talk to, which stories they grow up with, and how they see the world.
Some studies find that bilingual children do better on tasks that involve switching attention or ignoring distractions; other studies find small or no differences. The research is genuinely mixed, so be wary of anyone who promises a "smarter" child. What isn't in dispute is that children can learn two or more languages without any harm to their development, and that the practical benefits are real.
Bilingualism lets children bond with both sides of the family, and talk with grandparents and relatives in the language they love.
A second language opens doors later in life: in study, work, travel and in diverse communities at home.
Growing up with more than one language gives children a natural sense that there is more than one way to see things.
Supporting your child's bilingual journey starts with knowing what to expect at each age.
0-3 years: building a foundation
3-7 years: vocabulary growth
7 to the teenage years: refining skills
If your family speaks two languages at home and your child goes to school in a third, as ours did, a few things help:
Books
Online communities
Cultural resources
No. Other families use "minority language at home" (everyone speaks the home language at home and the school language outside), or give each language its own times and places. Choose what your family can keep up for years; consistency matters more than the method.
Bilingual children reach their first-words and sentence milestones in about the same range as other children, though their words are spread over two languages. If your child seems behind in both languages, or you're worried, talk to your doctor or a speech therapist who works with bilingual children, as we did.
No. Mixing is a normal part of becoming bilingual. Answer in your language, use the word your child was missing, and let them hear it the right way. They will separate their languages with time.
Yes. Many children grow up with two home languages and a third at school. Give each language enough regular use, and be patient: the third language often starts with a quiet listening period.
No. Earlier is easier, but children stay strong language learners well into the school years. A child who practises a little every day will make steady progress at any age.
Raising a bilingual child is a long project, and a rewarding one. Stay consistent, expect the stages (mixing, quiet phases, answering in the "wrong" language), and celebrate every new word. You're not just teaching a language; you're giving your child a way to belong to both sides of the family and to more of the world.
Seeing our son talk with both sides of his family is worth every effort. If you'd like help keeping a language part of your child's day, see how Voiczy works: a few minutes of voice-first practice in 19 languages, built by parents for parents.
